The Stigma and Joys of Singledom ;~)

In perusing the news this am, I am ecstatic to learn that Obama has won the White House back. This is fantastic news. Honestly, I could not handle the news last night and the waiting and political commentary. So I watched a funny movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, again. It’s a good substitute for watching blue and red states fill with color on a map.

I also saw this BBC News headline this morning – Viewpoint: Why are people so mean to single people? – and had to check out the piece.

This is after watching a movie where all the father wants is for his daughter to get married and make more Greek babies. He does not want his daughter to have a career or marry anyone other than another wonderful Greek man.

The writer makes some good points. As a woman who has been single far more than in a relationship all of her life, I can resonate with this man’s set of experiences. At least he gets invited to dinner parties though – to be condescendingly examined by the couples there. I can’t say when was the last time I was invited to a dinner party.

I’ve never been married. Never even had a live-in boyfriend. Mostly ran in the other direction from a man’s advances. Or chased them away with my overzealous adoration (another really effective way to stay single).

Nope. Singledom has been my way. Honestly, I like it. Most of the time. The only time I don’t like it is when I would like someone to hold me in bed. Or buy me chocolates or be there to listen to me when I need a good ear… Or…

Well, let’s talk about when I do like being single. I like it when the dishes can pile up in the sink and no one, absolutely no one, including the dust elephants, complains. Or I can stand in the middle of the kitchen and scream out my frustration about life in general and no one has to be thoroughly intimidated by my crazy screaming. There is no nagging. No projecting, no dancing through the intricacies of what emotional buttons are getting triggered where and when and why. Cheesh, that can be exhausting.

So, it’s okay. Most of the time. That I’m single.

Yet, that does not mean that I won’t stay open to the possibilities of this shifting when the fates so conspire. Might be open to that.

In the meantime, okay all of you, the rest of the world… stop being so judgmental about those of us who have been single most of our lives. You’re not being nice.


About Mare Cromwell

Referred to as “The Voice of Earth Mother” by a gifted Shoshone elder, Mare Cromwell is a multi-award-winning author, Medicine woman/Lightworker and healer. She has also been told by another gifted elder that her work with Earth Mother is in the prophecies. Her books include: "The Great Mother Bible"; "Messages from Mother.... Earth Mother"; and "If I gave you God’s phone number.... Searching for Spirituality in America". She has studied with Native American teachers for twenty-two years and sat on the World Council for Wisdom Gatherings for three years. Mare leads workshops on our Sacred Planet-Earth Mother, Womb Wisdom and Sacred Silliness and more. She is the visionary and producer of the 1000 Goddesses Gathering in Washington DC. Mare loves to be involved in Ceremony. She is also a former worm herder. She calls Western Maryland home.
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